Who didn’t see this one coming? At sixteen she was having middle-aged men salivating over here, currently she is a screwed up, whacked out, used up twenty something.
As much as you hate it, pop culture has invaded our lives. A crowning achievement of this is the goings on of the pop princess Britney Spears. Britney started early and in a few years has gone from pop princess to trailer trash in record time. A lot of this in due in part from her relations with some seedier wannabes.
The Disney Years.
Britney got her start on the wholesome and lovable Mickey Mouse Club. Along with Justin Timberlake, Keri Russel and Christina Aguilera. These teeny boppers danced and sang their way into the hearts little kids. Little did the world know the foreboding pop devastation to come.
Hit me baby causes spanking.
Britney won a contract with Jive records. She immediately went into teenage vamp mode. Britney chose to tie her school girl shirt in the video exposing her belly button to a new world of perverts. Her movements in the video suggested girl older then she was and the media shoved it down our throats.
Timber!
On tour to promote her record of bubble gum pop Britney opens for NSync and rekindles the puppy love from Mickey Mouse Club days with Justin Timberlake. They are an item for some time before they break up. Shortly thereafter Justin grabs some Jackson at the super bowl in Houston.
Wacky Wedding.
Britney, distraught as a 18 to 21 year old can be, marries a home town friend in Las Vegas in a drunken night on the town. It was annulled 24 hours later.
Lesbian Wedding.
Ya gotta love Madonna. A little lesbian action on the stage at the MTV music awards with Britney and Christina Aguilera. The Mickey Mouse Club was reunited in a most peculiar way. Lets all be thankful Justin wasn’t invited.
K-whodafuck?
This is definitely when everything went to shit. Britney went on to wed one of her stage dancers, Kevin Federline or K-Fed. Federline was a notorious titty bar patron and often left Britney at home. We saw it coming…later Federline was now K-Fedex but not until he spawned a creature from his seed. Expect the offspring of this union to be messed up in the head worse than Ozzy Osborne. Now with out Britney every time we see K-Fedex it makes us K-Fedupchuck.
Mental Breakdown
The marriage to K-fuckedinthehead took it’s toll on Britney. She was no longer the cute pop princess that gave tongue to Madonna. She blew it all out and went off the deep end. The princess of pop shaved her head. It’s now official, she whacked! At least she’s holding up better than Whitney Houston. Crack is Whack.
Damaged Goods
Now that the dust is settling Britney is in rehab, albeit a very lax rehab. K-fed gets more press than he deserves and its dwindling, thank god. Maybe he will off himself when he realizes he never had any talent. Christina came out from being dirty to hot dam that girl is a classic looking beauty. Justin Timberlake has gone on and on and on doing the same rehashed act with a little street thrown in. Really, does anyone think Justin Timberlake would last 8 hours in Harlem at night without an army of bodyguards? Britney needs to do a lot of recovery and not just in rehab. We wish Britney all the luck and pray she doesn’t end up like Whitney Houston.
