The Scenario
You are at a convention with your significant other. You are walking around networking with past and new associates. A stunning blonde comes up and starts talking to you as an old friend. Being polite you introduce the woman to your significant other who before this time was completely bored with the convention. All the sudden she is very interested in this new woman who seems to know you so well. After exchanging banter and maybe some contact information, the blonde leaves. Then it hits, ‘How do you know Karen?’ she asks. Suddenly you are under interrogation. The only thing missing is a dark room with one bright light in your face while you are handcuffed to a chair. The rest of the day is slightly more than bearable. You avoid contact with anyone else who might spur another episode of twenty questions. You even decline going out with associates that evening for fear of reprisal. What happened? How did you end up in this mess?
And then all hell breaks loose
First thing, you did nothing wrong! If you are honestly talking to another woman in front of the woman you are dating/with/married, unless you are intentionally trying to piss her off, you did nothing wrong. It did show a measure of trust that your girlfriend/wife would not make a big deal, maybe even enjoy the company of your casual acquaintance.
However, this is not how the female brain works. Any woman, doesn’t matter if she is a 300 pound Russian ex-weightlifter, is competition for her. This is as much a self-confidence issue as it is a survival of the fittest issue. It is pre-engineered in a woman’s head to compete for the best mate. If the woman is with you she has determined that you make the grade. Realize you may not be at the top of the list but you rated enough to bear further investigation.
Couple this ‘natural drive’ with low self-esteem and you will have a toxic combination brewing. This can be as mild as nagging and as violent as retribution.
Typically it begins with a line of questioning that the CIA would be proud of. Each question carefully crafted and designed to reveal more or imply information. This is a trap. There is no sugar-coating on this. It is designed to either make you admit to a transgression or imply a desire to transgress. The more you answer the worse off you will be. Even if nothing was ever going to happen, if she had it in her head that something might, the questions will lead to her desired path. In extreme cases you may be constantly harassed or held on a short leash.
Now this sounds self-defeating. If she already has her mind made up, why go to all the trouble to question him. Obviously he is guilty, what’s in it for the woman? The first is vindication. If the man has screwed up then she was the perfect woman to the philandering man. The second is punishment. Now the line of questioning serves a two-fold purpose, get information and let the man know he is on notice.
At this point, after the questioning, the woman will expect groveling and gifts to appease her goddess status.
What to do
First rule, don’t cave in. If you did nothing wrong in your eyes then don’t apologize and don’t send flowers. This is a sign of submission. Even though this is what the woman will say she wants, it will show a weakness in you that she will hold against you. This can be a weakness that she will exploit when she wants something or it may become a reason to move onto a more suitable man.
Why is weakness bad? I have said before and it is so true today, women demand strong men. Any sign of weakness knocks you down a peg in her eyes. Any sign of strength props you up a peg. Case: women love firefighters and policemen; they represent heroes in real life. They will tell you it is the uniform but that is a lie. They are, by nature, designed to look for the strongest best mate. Heroes fit that bill to a tee. On the opposite side of the spectrum, geeks tend to get a low grade from women. They are often depicted as fat lazy slobs still living with their moms.
Now I am not condoning one or the other stereotype, this is just how it is. If you fit into a bad stereotype then you are the only one that can change that.
The point is, stand your ground. The woman you just introduced to your significant other may be a colleague that you work with or even your boss. Yes guys it is the 21st century.
How do you handle the situation?
First, do not subject yourself to questioning. Give a simple and concise answer to who the person is and end it there. Do not answer anymore questions that are leading questions.
Second, she will get frustrated and pissed off. Depending on woman the severity may be great or small. Give her room, she will come around. If she doesn’t then don’t worry about it. But seriously rethink your relationship with her if she doesn’t. Jealousy is a natural human emotion. For her it is a defense mechanism to protect her mate selection.
Be aware, the incident may be used against you in the future. Women tend to remember and store vital jabs for use later. Arguing is pointless, made even more so when an obscure past event is brought up.
Realize your options, if her jealousy gets out of hand now it will in the future. The only thing in life that is finite is the time you have in your life. If you can suffer the jealousy and that piece of ass is so damn good, stay with her. If it becomes a problem, there are always more women out there. Think that’s cold, she is thinking the same thing about you when you fuck up in her eyes.